Couples fighting is so common in our daily life that many screenwriters even incorporate it into romantic dramas.
I believe many people have seen such a scene: the hero and heroine after you argue with each other, and then the two faces slowly close together, and finally have fallen on the bed…
After a storm, it was over.
Many Internet users jokingly refer to the phenomenon as “settling scores”, while in popular culture it is known as “reconciliation X love”.
Many people who have experienced it describe it as: one of the most passionate sex experiences a couple can have, and it’s legendary.
But is it really the case? Is there any scientific evidence?
Jessica Maxwell, a New Zealand psychologist, and her colleague Andrea Meltzer wanted to demonstrate this phenomenon in three ways:
1, couples quarrel when easy to have sex impulse?
2. Sex during a fight is more satisfying?
3. Can cohabitation alleviate the negative effects of marital conflict?
After a series of studies, they came to their conclusion and published a paper.
1. Are couples more likely to be impulsive when they fight?
Maxwell and Meltzer’s data showed that newlyweds were neither more nor less likely to sleep together on days of conflict than on days of non-conflict.
They determined that conciliatory love does occur, but found no direct correlation between fighting and sleeping together.
Fighting doesn’t ignite desire, and sex is less likely the day after a fight.
This is mainly because most people are reluctant to have too much intimate contact with their partner after being affected by a negative emotion.
2. Sex during a fight is more satisfying?
A lot of people on the Internet say that sex during a fight is more satisfying, but Maxwell and Meltzer actually found through their research:
Partners were no more satisfied after a fight than they were when they didn’t fight.
But “sex after a fight” did lead to a higher level of satisfaction than “no fight and no sex.”
In other words, it does work, but it’s not the happiness that comes from having sex, it’s the fact that couples are less estranged and closer together.
It also means that a roommate may be a “bond” for couples to ease conflict.
3. Can cohabitation alleviate the negative effects of marital conflict?
After making their discovery, Maxwell and Meltzer ran several data sets, and the results showed:
“Conciliatory love can help ease conflicts and conflicts between couples, but it is short-lived and does not contribute to marital satisfaction in the long run.”
In other words, “reconciliation X love” is like a temporary lubricant between the couple, after the “lubrication” effect will not change much in your life.
Some people even report lower levels of sexual satisfaction after a fight, while others report higher levels of sexual satisfaction, and the reason for this is personality.
Some couples like to “fight” in bed after a conflict. They feel excited and think it is a way to fall back in love with each other, but this is only a minority.
Conciliatory love requires the right timing to be effective and short-lived. Don’t deliberately create conflict for the sake of the experience.
After all, not everyone is suitable for “reconciliation X love”. If not, it will not feel happy, but also leave permanent scars on the relationship.