Does the first reaction to like a person feel inferior?

Zhang Ailing said: Like a person will humble to the dust, because like, so abnormal. Because of love, so low self-esteem.

The campus secret love is always hidden in the coming face of Yu Guang, hidden in the scratch paper consciousness wrote down a name, hidden in the hand in the exercise book also next to the small mind; Always feel like the person standing in the light, with the light dust, light and not yao, and he is illuminated by light a small dust particles. Each other seems to always be so dazzling, and their whole body is shortcomings, feel unworthy of each other, feel a sense of inferiority diffuse.

Like the first person’s first reaction is inferiority, which can be a positive sentence.

01. Halo effect

The halo effect, also known as the halo effect, was proposed by the famous American psychologist Kelley. In interpersonal communication, a certain aspect of a person’s characteristics, masked other characteristics, resulting in interpersonal cognitive barriers. In our daily life, this effect often quietly affects our perception and evaluation of others.

When we have an initial impression of someone, we tend to unconsciously adopt preconceptions cognitively. When you have a crush on a person, you will think that his other qualities are equally good, and when one quality is proven, you will be more aware of the other’s shortcomings. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is something like that. When we are under the influence of the halo effect, we tend to think everything is good about the other person, and other people point out the other person’s shortcomings, which may be regarded as insignificant by us. That is to say, why in the relationship is always “the person in charge is confused, onlookers see clearly”, others stay out of the matter, to judge more objectively.

When we find someone we like, the halo effect amplifies and intensifies the good qualities in them. And people are usually more or less there will be a certain inferiority complex, this inferiority complex in the unconscious comparison, will be more significant. You have been “knowing and being with” yourself the longest, so to some extent you know yourself the best and know where your strengths and weaknesses lie. When we meet someone we like, we subconsciously measure our compatibility with each other. We compare ourselves both internally and externally. We are relatively critical of ourselves, while the impression of others is shrouded in a halo effect, which makes the difference even more obvious. Your love gives the other a halo and a filter in the limited understanding, and is clear about your own flaws, so the other person’s image in your heart is tall and mighty.

“A man as cold as the moon as I am, when I see a street lamp, I think it is the sun.”

02, inferiority plot

Alain de Botton once said that the less you like someone, the more confident you can be and easily attract them. Strong desire deprives one of the insouciance that is essential to the game of love. If you are attracted to others, you will develop an inferiority complex, because we always want to give the most perfect qualities to the person we love.

When we pair our perceived good qualities with those we love, and our own shortcomings seem to pale in comparison, inferiority is like one end of the scale, out of balance.

Transferring inferiority is the best thing we can do.

If you just like each other, learn from each other’s good qualities and become someone as bright as him.

If you and your partner have become partners, you should affirm your own value. Both people entering into an intimate relationship are in a position to be loved. Appreciate the other person, but also to affirm the other person’s appreciation.

Like a person’s first reaction is abased? Is.

But the good love, can be driven by inferiority, let us more beautiful.

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