Have you ever wondered why love leads to sharing?
Share, is to let each other have new material to love you.
So the desire to share, the desire to be loved.
You tell him about your meal today, today’s play, today’s colleague;
So that you can see a real and concrete “she,” today’s “she,” so that you can love a specific “she,” just for today.
You show him your body, give him your clothes, your new makeup;
It’s to show you that her beauty is new and varied and even too varied and starts to become interesting.
You tell him what you do, show him your wisdom, your temperament, your desires, your fears.
All to give him more “material” to love you more
To love your body, your thoughts, your desires, your fears…
Even if you say that what I share is not good, I am not glorifying myself. Then you are also providing the most important part – the more real you – for him to love.
The desire to share is the desire for love.
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The current popular love, in a sense, are called “meat and wine lovers”.
Eat a meal, obviously have wronged in the heart, will also put up with. We made plans to hang out, and we didn’t have a plan.
Can stay up late to chat Dou map to dawn, chat is mostly trivial entertainment things. All peace and friendship.
But when you get to a deeper level of intimacy, you start to reveal problems
Like a long distance relationship caused by problems at work
For example, the marriage problem caused by the family of origin
For example, marriage will be faced with buying a car to settle down
For a year or two, neither of them had a valid conversation about whether they were married or not.
Most of this relationship state is: take a step, count a step.
What does it take to be capable of deep love?
We get along with a person, is to run in the temper of two people, exchange two people’s views on something, each other tolerate bad habits and learn good habits.
For example, he has the ability to execute cleanly. You are familiar with office software. For example, you are good at planning a trip, he is good at photography design; For example, you occasionally stay in bed without makeup, and he always steals late-night snacks.
One person’s self-discipline is another person’s, and the same negative energy from one person is another person’s.
After a while.
Have you learned to control your emotions as a result?
Do you control your constant need for love and attention?
Do you have the temperament to be calm and listen to the truth?
The important thing is that you can clearly express your thoughts, your needs, and your self-perception during the conversation, without hiding things, words, or stupidity.
Some time passed.
Do you understand each other when you disagree?
Can you solve bad problems when you’re angry?
Are you still willing to trust each other and listen to the explanation when there is a misunderstanding?
That empathy thing we talk about, most people can’t do.
For example, I don’t mind that you eat street food, I don’t mind that your job is not good, I don’t mind that your family is not good, this is not called empathy understanding, this is called with understanding to pretend to be confused.
Those quarrel seem to say without brain, in fact, are the heart of the heart.
Love is at eye level, not overlooking.
Falling in love is not only two bright people, standing together saying jokes and laughing not to talk about tomorrow, but, two people are scarred but tightly held together, still looking forward to tomorrow.
Whether there is a little monster or a little angel in a person’s heart has a lot to do with who you meet. Think back carefully to this period of time when you are in love, and you will become better or worse. Therefore, you know very well that what you fall in love with is lucky or trouble.
So in love, look for long-term people.
A long-term partner is someone who does something and someone who doesn’t. Should do, should not do, clear points. Not to be blinded by a little temptation in front of you.
This does not mean that they have much discipline, but that they understand that satisfying an immediate desire will ruin a long-term relationship, and that is not for smart people.
Sense of responsibility and awareness, they will not dig their own grave.
Such a person, no matter who they choose as their partner, will manage their desires. To put it nastily, even if he found someone else, will not be out of the affair, and whether it is you, not too much.
This also means that once you’re in a long-term relationship, you don’t have to worry about these things as much and you have more time to focus on yourself.
Take a good look at love. In fact, what most people lack is not love object, but love ability. And love ability, sometimes, does not necessarily need to be learned from the lover.